Creating Safe Spaces
LIVE IN THE MOMENT
We keep hearing this phrase “Live in the moment”. As a kid it meant don’t worry about the past or future and be happy. But my understanding is changing over time with my introduction to meditation, alcohol, cooking and enjoying food, paragliding, basically anything that gives you a high.
DEFINING PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE
Let’s deep dive into brain and how it operates. At any given moment, our brain can be in one of three states — past or present or future. We have 5 sensations (vision, audio, taste, smell , touch) that are interfaced with our brain, if our conscious mind is focusing on one or more of these sensations, that means you are in the present. If you are replaying a memory that happened a while ago, then your mind is in the past. If your mind is generating a new situation and imagining what could happen later, then your mind is in the future.
Subconsciously lot of sensory information will be streamed to your brain, your kidneys and lungs are working whether your conscious mind focusses on the breath or not. Now my hypothesis is
“ You can’t worry if you are in the present, worrying happens only if your mind is dwelling in the past or future. Present is a Safe Space.”
SAFE SPACE IN PARAGLIDING CONTEXT
I did a 3 day paragliding course in Kamshet, near Pune. One recurring thing that you keep hearing in the theory class and at various points from instructors is that,
You are safe in the air, if at all anything happens that will be during landing. Air is a safe space
Felt like a lame joke when heard for the first time. But you quickly realise there is more to it, as you are hearing it again and again. This is something you need internalise, both mind and body wise.
The course is a spread over three days. Day1 is ground handling and learning about the equipment. Day2 will be bunny hops from a height of 40m, slant area to minimise the fear. Finally on Day3 we do the real flight all by ourselves. The process is super important for learning paragliding, but the ground truth / axiom that nothing will happen in air is equally important for us to have a safe and enjoyable flying experience. Only when we feel safe, we will start enjoying the view, the sound of the breeze etc. Otherwise we will be stuck in the past, why did I even take up this course or what will happen if I don’t land well?
RECENT GOA TRIP
To take a break from work, I did a Goa Trip and I happened to meet new people and had new experiences. When you are drunk, you put Sufi music or trance videos or eat something tasty or walk in nature , something to do with your 5 sensory organs. But you are running a risk here, if initial conditions aren’t safe then you might get paranoid as well pushing you into worrying mode(past or future), but if you are in a happy state, you end up going into present more and experiencing things around.
When you are trying new routes/experiences, to feel safe, it is important to have a “Partner” who is doing it with you and it is also important to have a “Guide Dog” who knows the route/experienced it before. Sense of being in a safe space made me feel blissful, because I was living moment to moment not thinking about past or future, for majority of the trip!
Dance your heart away, till the dancing bells on your ankles come undone
EXTREME FOCUS IS POSSIBLE IN SAFE SPACES
I signed up for a 12 week transformation program in Fittr, where in we have to count calories (1800kcal for me), do certain exercises and finish 10K steps. I am addicted to food and I tend to do lot of stress eating and happy eating as well. Now that there is this defined space in which I can eat 1800kcal. I know I’ve done all the exercises and eating what I am supposed to eat, I’ve created a safe space for my brain. I thoroughly enjoy the meal without any guilt. I go into the present mode, my taste buds and nose is totally active and enjoying the food.
In safe spaces, there are more chances for our mind to be in present state than past or future
Otherwise, I’d be thinking, Am I over eating now ? Should I do more exercise in the evening ? Should I eat less tomorrow ? I should have eaten less yesterday etc
PRODUCTIVE WORKING ENVIRONMENT
Before taking up a task, whether it is 30mins or 3hrs. If I know that, this is the best utilisation of time and this is a safe space to work in. My mind will automatically be in present and do it’s productive best. This is where planning helps. If in planning, you realise that this is not the best utilisation of your time, don’t even waste your time by taking up that task.
Create Safe Spaces > Live in the moment > Stay Productive
It’s a variation of what Krishna says in Gita,
Being a karma yogi means doing your thing and not thinking about the results. I’d say for the defined period of 30mins or 3hrs, create a safe space by listing out the objective and internalise the fact that it is best utilisation of your time. Then, just live in the moment, do your thing enjoy the process and don’t worry about the results during that period.
Be a karma yogi in defined periods!
